Monday, February 17, 2014

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When Fears Assail

I am about to share something important with you. Did you know writers are real? Real, living, breathing humans who feel things just as keenly (sometimes more so) as regular people?

Yep, I'm one of those. Those top-of-the-mountain, flying-of-the-walls, grinning-from-ear-to-ear writers who can't contain herself and is in emotional turbulence when she types the words The End

Until editing starts, that is. Then I change with such radical speed you wouldn't recognize me.

I've been through my editing/proofreading weekend. It was a long few days of sitting in front of a computer screen and wondering what I had ever seen in my manuscript. Wondering if I really am supposed to be a writer. Wondering how anyone could ever actually enjoy it. 

Like Anne of Green Gables (the mysterious A in my pen name stands for my middle name of Anne, by the way), I plunge into the depths of despair.

Those doubts and fear stars piling up.

Will anyone like my book? Was all the time, effort, and sacrifices worth it? What if they find a typo-horror of horrors?! Maybe they'll think it's just a dumb story. Maybe it will have too much sentiment or not enough action for some readers. Maybe the readers who liked my medieval trilogy will wish I had stuck with my long, flowing sentences and harder-to-read dialogue. Maybe the readers who struggled with my medieval series's medieval dialogue will never want to go back to them after reading my new title. What if I have totally given someone the wrong impression about who I am as an author and what my style is? Maybe I've represented my friend who plays a big part in the story all wrong.

Yep. I can hear my publishing consultant. You authors would go on editing and correcting for the next ten years if we'd let you. But that isn't getting your story out to the world and sharing it with those who God has called you to touch.

Then, I come back to who I am and what the reality of it all is. I'm just an ordinary person with a special calling that God has given me. He gave me the talent, the task, the ideas. When it all boils down to it, my books are His, not mine. I cannot do it on my own - and I know it. This isn't about fame and definitely isn't about money. 

It's about blessing someone. And hopefully inspiring them with the truth about courage, honor, and what history really is to us.

Lord willing, Remembering the Alamo releases in just six days. Six days! I am thrilled and scared to death all at once. And, at the same time, I hope you will be blessed when you read it.

But not without me being real - and explaining what it is we authors feel and experience in the turbulent pre-release days. I'm just a regular person like you. And it's God who gives the increase of my work. If you would, could you just pray that Remembering the Alamo is a success - and that someone is blessed by reading it? I treasure all of my readers, many of whom I've come to call my friends. 

Thank you!
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7 comments:

  1. Hi Alicia, this post really hit the spot for me right now. Thank you for sharing. As an author that's about to be published, I've been experiencing lots of excitement, yet a little feeling of nervousness about people actually liking my book. But in the end, you just have to leave those feelings with God and let Him decide the success of your story.

    I will certainly be praying about the release of "Remembering the Alamo." I'm so excited for you and I'm sure it will be a big success. Rest in the arms of Jesus, friend, and He'll take care of everything!

    His Princess,
    Bekah

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    1. You're so sweet! And congratulations with becoming a published author soon! :) You'll have to be sure to share your title when it releases with me.

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    2. I definitely will. I hope to share the news on my blog very soon!

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    3. Hi Alicia,

      My book is now published!! My book is titled, "Martha's Fun Summer", and here is the link to my blog post: http://hisprincessbekah.blogspot.com/2014/03/im-published.html

      His Princess,
      Bekah

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    4. Well, congratulations! Definitely exciting!

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  2. Thank you for sharing, Alicia. :) I can relate all too well these days.

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    1. Looking forward to the release of Honor! ;)

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