Monday, February 3, 2014

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The Spirit of Femininity

Images property of Pinterest.

FemininityDoesn't the word conjure up some beautiful thoughts?

Now, before you get up in arms with the idea that I am going to tell you how to dress, don't worry. I'm not. Because I think the spirit of femininity goes far deeper.

Since I was introduced to Emilie Barnes and her wonderful book Simple Secrets to a Beautiful Home, I've had a passion  for embracing who I am as a woman. I think she really helped me to understand what it is to be feminine. Granted, I'm still learning. :) I think we all have those days where we don't feel like being lovely, feminine, or anything else.

Did you know we women have a very special role? We add the little things to life. The little graces, the little touches that make life better for others. We see detail, can discern the subtle emotions, and are generally the softening influences on life. But the depth of these things depends on the individual - and how far she is willing to go in the matter of femininityWith all that said, I'd love to share a few ideas and thoughts with you.

What does your daily appearance consist of? 

Are you shabby or down-right grubby for your family or when doing the grocery shopping? Please allow me to say that your family is more important than any one else. And going to Walmart doesn't give you the excuse to look frumpy. The world is watching Christian women. There is something about a neat (it doesn't have to be fancy or overdone) and graceful appearance that will make folks straighten up and take notice - as they should when they see a Christian. 
  • Wear a little makeup. I wear it everyday, around the house included (hey, family is important!). But you don't have to or go to extremes. A little blush and lip gloss is probably sufficient for creating that feminine charm. Add a touch of mascara too if you like. It is worth it - not just for others, but for you. 
  • Banish t-shirts unless you really are doing some super dirty work or need it as part of a uniform. Start incorporating a little more softness into your attire. Lovely colors, however simple, is part of the trick. Wear something that makes you feel beautiful. Be it some earrings, a simply sweater, or a headband, wear it. You'll be amazed at how much better you feel.
  • Is your hair always in a ponytail? You can learn how to French braid or do a simple pony-tail flip-through instead. Just make a little effort. 
It really doesn't take much time to do the above. Get up ten minutes early if you have to. Because, remember, adding the little gracious touches is our job as women!

What does your home say about femininity?

No, I don't mean incorporate tea cups, Shabby Chic curtains, and perfectly groomed poodles into your home (although you certainly can if you wish!). What I mean is, does your home radiate the fact that the lady of the house cares? Here are a few tips I've learned, from Emilie Barnes, others, and my own experiences.
  • Take ten minutes to de-clutter the house every day. You'll be amazed by how much cleaning you can get done in ten minutes! This is especially important in the late afternoon and your hubby is about to come home. For you unmarried ladies, do this in your room. 
  • Do you have company over and the sink is pilled high with after-dinner dishes? Light a candle or two next to the sink, turn off the lights, and migrate to the living room. The soft light gives the perfect touch of elegance to your messy kitchen and eliminates the need to clean up while company is around.
  • Candles speak volumes! Light them in the bathroom, kitchen, bedroom - you name it! Younger girls, make sure you get your parent's approval first! :)
  • Do the little things - lemon slices in the water glasses, the overhead lighting turned off in bedrooms and soft bedside lamps turned on instead, the pillows fluffed up on the couch, flowers (fresh or artificial) on the kitchen windowsill or piano. How about classical music or hymns playing in the living room? Someone's coffee mug set out for them? Even the fridge or pantry can be graced - banish ugly bags and put staples in lovely jars or containers instead. 
It's the little things! You might not be an interior decorator or even have the perfectly organized home. But you can still do the little touches within your power to make.

What does your demeanor say about femininity?

Your outer appearance and the way you handle yourself says a lot! Granted, some women are a little louder, a little heartier, a little bolder than others. God gave each of us a unique personality. But if our demeanor is more like a guy than a girl, something's wrong. Here are some thoughts!

  • What is your telephone voice like? (I am always afraid that mine is too young and girlish, but at least I don't have to worry about it being masculine or curt!) You can learn how to leave a gracious, professional-sounding message. You can give your tone that cheery ring. :) If you are smiling as you speak, the sound has a better chance of coming across that way!
  • How do you carry yourself? Some people assume that if they are wearing a skirt, they're being ladylike. Nope! You can be wearing a skirt clear to your ankles and still be carrying yourself in an unladylike or even masculine way. When I was little, I recall being told that ladies took small steps, didn't swing their hips, and always crossed their ankles and fluffed out their skirts in church. (Compliments of my Mom, Grandma, and The Grandma's Attic Series.) The little-girl habit stuck with me (except in grocery shopping; small steps don't get grocery carts rolling!). 
  • What about your expression? This is one I'm working on. I tend to have two expressions: grave or laughing. I am hoping I can learn to settle it at least pleasantly, even if I am being grave. I think there are several movie characters who have the countenance I'm talking about: Ma from Little House, Molly Gibson from Wives and Daughters, Donna from the Donna Reed Show.

That's all the ideas for today! I hope you enjoyed it!

On a side note, please don't stress about having the perfect home. Because it is about people, not possessions. And I think that is what the Spirit of Femininity is. 


  1. Lovely thoughts, my dear! You said it very graciously. :) Love to you!

  2. Loved this post!! :D Recently, I've been trying to find ways to be modest, cute, friendly, and just happy! :) One thing that has always made me want to act like a godly young woman is that I have a bunch of younger siblings. And they're watching me. :) I keep thinking, "Oh, they're going to remember how I'm acting!" So I've been trying to be happy all the time--not just around friends. ;)

  3. Thank you for sharing, Alicia. What a delightful post! I really liked what you said about our demeanor as young ladies; our facial expressions, the way we act, can spread Christ's love to others who might not even know Him.

    Thanks again!

    His Princess,

  4. Wonderful post!!! Thanks for encouraging us girls to be feminine and Christ-like!!


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